Mom

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But I found out, every word they ever said was true, and I want it back, the sleepless nights I gave to you.



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it's sad when you grow up with someone in your family and you were best friends since birth, did everything together then suddenly life happens and nothing is the same. Marriage and babies and losing touch.

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So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.


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Made a battery with my dad for chem 2. Best dad in the world.



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everyone carries their own private hell with them




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science vs religion

Lately I have been struggling with the belief of a God. I have been raised to believe for all of my years and never questioned the existence of him. I was taught he controlled everything, had a plan for us, and everything happened for a reason. It was a nice way of thinking. To think that there would be no worries in this life, living life with the idea of some day going to heaven and having my soul be around for forever and meeting my loved ones who had passed before me. I guess that is the only reason I still try and hold on to the idea of there being a God, because of the strong and powerful feeling of missing someone all of the time. I would like to think that we didn't just fall into non-existence after there is no longer brain function. Although I am certain the bible is just a huge story book written by humans trying to brainwash everyone and it is filled with bullshit. No one lived to be nine hundred and something years, the earth was not once flooded, and there is no way in hell women came from the rib of adam. I believe we evolved. Us and apes have a single common ancestor in the far distant past. Birds are definitely related to dinosaurs and there have been several genus' of Homo in the past. As neil degrasse tyson would say, "Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life." THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. It is actually fascinating where we came from. Not believing in God does not make this world any less magnificent or beautiful. There are many things we don't understand about the world but that doesn't mean one day we won't find out. Plus, If there is a God I would hope that if I lived my life to its fullest, as a good honest person, I will not be punished at the gates of heaven for not believing him. I can't picture God saying, "Lauren you were a great person, but you didn't believe in me so you must now burn in Hell" what kind of God does that? The way I look at the world has changed completely. If anything, I appreciate this world more and more everyday. I love my life here and I feel blessed to have realized something so great so early in my life. I no longer feel like I am living blindly. “Be thankful that you have a life, and forsake your vain and presumptuous desire for a second one.” The universe is huge and we are so small. It is ignorant to think we as humans here on earth are the greatest things in this universe. faith is based on lack of knowledge and lack of thinking ability. Humans feel the need to have an explanation for everything. It is okay to not have an answer for everything. 

Mind blowing

This makes me smile:


“I know that the molecules in my body are traceable to phenomena in the cosmos. That makes me want to grab people on the street and say: ‘Have you HEARD THIS?”

No more Facebook

So since I have removed myself from social networking, I need a place to write and post about things I love, hate, or think. So this is that. And that is this.




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