American beauty

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.



- Posted from my iPhone

Skinny love

Oh these tired eyes of mine. Nothing is worse than feeling like everything could crash all at once. Thigs are slipping through my fingers and i have no control over it. It was freezing today and silly me of course I wasn't prepared for this. I'm not prepared for Christmas and I have so much shopping to do. I found my one of my old books from high school, perelandra. I really want to re read it. I also want to read Harry potter all over again. My inner nerd is dying to get out. As the twilight books have already been read in full detail and now i sit and wait for the movies. I'm bored with everything. Bon iver, nirvana, the beatles, cassino, are all on my winter playlist. Repeat repeat repeat. I need something great to happen, new York city great!


- Posted from my iPhone

Approaching fast

It's what you would call a cold day in Florida.. Which really isn't that cold at all. What makes someone who they are today? Treating people kindly or to be decieving, how does someone grow to be either or both. The person i am today doesnt like to depend or rely on someone. But i always need someone. My head is a mess. The only thing constant is my family and my cat. Bon iver makes me wonder and scatterbrained too much. I haven't even started Christmas shopping and I'm already getting anxiety. Making money < spending money. I have a shopping problem. I have bags under my eyes from working so much, though I love my job at the animal hospital. They are my family too. The 3 doctors, office manager, and my coworkers. Fights, bickering, laughing my ass off and being so comfortable to say or do anything around them. That is why I love my job.





- Posted from my iPhone

///

I'm a free bird. The only way to live is free.


- Posted from my iPhone

Wonderland

The best thing about winter is the fresh market having whole boxes of Italian rainbow cookies. These will be gone by the end of the week. But yet again the climate is hot in Jacksonville, FL. Not fair..... I'm jealous of anyone up north right now.





- Posted from my iPhone

Ramble on

I'm not really sure what has been going on lately or what to say. Still learning biology. I've become fascinated with infectious disease. But I can't seem to give up the idea of something with animals. I just wish there were more opportunities right now. Going to Atlanta for school eventually seems like the best idea but I get this sick feeling when I think about leaving my family. Nothing else. It would be great to move somewhere alone. I'm hoping to see a good old friend this weekend who shares some of my weird traits. It always brings me back to smoking listening to the snake the cross the crown and getting lost in neighborhoods. I also hope this weekend doesn't go by too fast. I've found myself becoming obsessed with old things & new things: nirvana, bones, pictures, letters, smoking popes, songs for feeling shitty, nightmare before christmas, the perks of being a wallflower, and surprise surprise CATS and so on. Whoever I am, I'm almost positive it is a very strange person who doesn't mind being a loner.


- Posted from my iPhone

Love

- Posted from my iPhone

We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

- Posted from my iPhone

Fall

Visited Josh in Atlanta. Aquarium, coke factory, and bodies exhibit in 4 hours. Drove to the smoky mountains. Saw waterfalls and hiked a lot of places. Beautiful places like that shouldn't be so far away from me. I don't see myself getting sad in a place like that. I should move away.

Went to the haunted house with my cousin. I miss being young with him. Everything changes around us but we'll always be best friends who laugh until we cry and go on adventures together. He's got my back and I've got his.

- Posted from my iPhone

Dr Seuss

"All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!"


- Posted from my iPhone

I knew this

It's too late to make it right, probably wouldn't if I could.

It was only a matter of time until it all came crashing down. But for what reason I don't know. That's what bothers me the most. People should grow some fucking balls. God has a plan for me and he is just weeding out the thing I don't need. I shouldn't fight everything so hard. It only keeps me miserable. I just need to start having some faith in the future and myself. I underestimate what I deserve.


- Posted from my iPhone

Flight risk

Operation dowhateveriwantandireallydontcare has begun. So far so good. I think my heart is leaving my chest for the winter. I want to go to Atlanta and walk around downtown in this weather. What to do...

- Posted from my iPhone

//

Your words were cold and flat and I deserve more than that


- Posted from my iPhone

September is not kind to me

She whispers to me, I was meant to be free.This life that we've built is deadly.



- Posted from my iPhone

Sleepy bird

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."


- Posted from my iPhone

Truth

People only really like the things they can't have.


- Posted from my iPhone

King of anything

It was ALL worth it.

- Posted from my iPhone

How in the world did I get so jaded?

So the question that I always struggle with is, do I live my life or not? I wish there was some kind of map for life that told you what to do and what not to do. What is the right thing to do? I don't ever know the answer to that. I'm scared that I'm missing out on things half the time because I have this idea in my head that I need to act like a 30 year old instead of the young 22 year old that I am. I think im starting to get permenent bags under my eyes. I don't want to regret anything else so I keep it safe and go through life not doing anything fun or exciting. I work and go to school. That is it. And chicken out on everything else.

- Posted from my iPhone

Rip summer

I miss my internship at the zoo. I miss the birds. I miss the little grey winged tumpeter donald who would run up to me and let me scratch his neck or Leroy the currasow who would tug at my shorts everytime I went in his cage. Or the annoying cape thick knee twins who followed me everywhere. And I especially miss the fat little penguins and their sassy dramatic attitudes.









- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Drool

Want to see howl. Just for the simple fact that I want to stare at James Franco. That face is the most handsome thing I've laid eyes on.






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I am covered in skin

over the past weeks and months i've been contemplating all of the changes that are happening. I just want to live my life. Don't get me wrong, I am. But I am so completely confused why everyone around me is choosing not to. And by that I mean they are content with only marriage, their dead end job that provides them with no joy or excitement and forever being in the same place. New places, doesn't matter how nice they are, are ALWAYS better than the SAME place. I hope i never become that boring.